Rethink
by harm0ni0us
Summary: This is my first fanfic. It takes place at the end of Catching Fire and into Mockingjay, Katniss is forced to choose between her two loves, but is it too late?
1. Chapter 1

A/N : This is my first fanfic in a long time, so I apologize in advance if it's not good. I don't really know where I'm going with this story, so bear with me. All recommendations are accepted :)

My story takes place between Catching Fire and Mockingjay, but I changed it up, Peeta dosen't get hijacked in Catching Fire.

**Disclaimer:**_ I do not own anything from the Hunger Games_

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_Breath_. I told myself.

I took a few steps forward. There was deer that was about 30 yards away. I let myself relax as I brought back the shaft. I had forgotten what it was like to hunt by myself. No distractions. Just the hunter and it's prey. It was a little

past noon, the sunlight shone through the dense canopy above my head. The ground was still a bit mucky from last night's rainfall. The smell of wet grass still lingered the air. I locked in on the deer now about 20ft away.

3...2...1...

As I let go of the string a strong gust of wind streamed in from the east, lodging my arrow in a nearby tree. I curse under my breath as I reluctantly begin to head home. What was wrong with me? Had I lost my form? No. I couldn't have. But these past

few days have made me tiresome. Long days followed by short nights. I barley got 5 hours if sleep a night, and Peeta was beginning to worry about me. Truthfully, I was worried about myself too.

"What's wrong, Catnip? Lose your edge?" calls a familiar voice booming from behind me.

I smile, bubbling with happiness. The voice sent butterflies swarming through my stomach and I turn around in that same moment.

"Shut up, Gale" I jokingly sulk at him as I walk towards him and nudge his shoulder "What are you doing here anyway? I thought you bailed this old place." I paused, remembering the conversation we had over the phone a little over a

week ago.

_The phone began to ring and I raced downstairs to pick it up, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand._

_"Hello, whoever this is you just interrupted my day to sleep in, so this better be good."_

_"Hey Catnip" Gale says, his voice muffled by the cheap wiring and the poor_

_signal._

_"Hey" my heart beat picks up double time._

_"Where have you been, I've been looking for your ass all week, what's wrong with_

_you? You've got me worried sick." It was true, but I also needed to find him for_

_Hazel, she was just as worried as I was. Gale could handle himself. But still,_

_anxiety rush through me, and it was soon overridden by relief from the sound of_

_his voice._

_He chuckled lightly but there was a tone in it I did not like._

_"Everyone needs a break every once and a while."_

_"Yeah.." I replied halfheartedly. Our district was still overflowing with_

_goodies from the capitol, so there was really no reason to hunt everyday, but he_

_wasn't referring to that. I stared at the hardwood floor of my victor house and_

_took a seat. My mind raced, still contemplating his words._

_"Katniss, that's not why I called." His voice was now urgent, it made me grip my_

_seat._

_There was a pause. It was maybe a few minutes but it felt like hours. I felt my_

_pupils dilate, anticipating his reply. A million different answers flooded my_

_head. Every possibility clouded my mind, and this made me feel jittery._

_"Why then?" I spat out, through my teeth._

_He sighed and there was another pause, which only made me even more anxious._

_"Katniss...I'm not coming back to district 12."_

_Not coming back? What did he mean Not Coming Back?_

_"Don't be stupid, Gale. You've got your mother, who loves you and is still_

_wondering where you are and your brothers ask me everyday if I've found you_

_yet."_

_"I don't want to stay in that place anymore. It's... it's too much."_

_"What's too much?" I didn't understand, our miscommunication infuriated me._

_He grumbled and said "I don't want to talk about this over the phone."_

_I heard rustling in the background. Then someone called his name._

_"Listen, I've got to go. I'll keep in touch."_

_And he hung up the phone. That was it. I was as frozen as a statue, with the_

_phone still glued to my ear, hoping his voice would come back, but it didn't. I_

_wasn't going to see Gale for a while. It didn't hurt at first but then I began_

_to feel the ache. He was my best friend. We had gone though so much and now he'd_

_left._

_He left me._

_Was I the reason why? I had given all my time and loveto Peeta, and I barley met_

_with Gale an hour a week. He felt like a stranger, walking by my side as we went_

_to hunt. I had felt his eyes wipe over my whole body as a shot my arrows. I_

_never looked up to meet his gaze, knowing he wanted to talk about us. I could_

_not deny the electricity between us as we accidentally touch. His hand and mine_

_when I had dropped my arrow, and our hips touching as we walk back to District_

_12. I knew he felt it too, I saw his body tence, but I just shook it off at the_

_time. The ache grew larger by the second, and I rushed to my bed, letting the_

_emotion overcome me. I didn't feel like going on, I barley continued on with my_

_day. I didn't even meet Peeta for dinner that night._

I was suddenly caught up in the great memories we shared. I was absolutely in love with the idea of Gale and I spending a whole day together, to make up for his absence. Then I remembered why he had left in the first place, and this

brought back the raw emotion I had felt before.

"Well, " he continued, pulling me out of my trance. "I thought that a phone call wasn't the best way to say good-bye." he took a step towards me, his eyes twinkling in the afternoon sun.

"Gale...you can't be seriously doing this. Com'mon, no one just decides to move out of nowhe-"

He interrupted me, "Actually, the capitol offered me a job. It pays well and I could visit whenever I want to." I thought about it. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. He was getting on with his life. I couldn't let my selfishness get the best of me and force him to stay,

but I don't think Hazelle would so lenient. He looked at me and seemed to read my mind.

"I already told my family. They're excited for me . But Posy's going to miss me the most." He leaned up against a nearby tree and sighed. He loved his sister more than anything. She resembled him in almost every way. I remember the days

we spent, the three of us playing childhood games, enjoying each others company and laughing effortlessly. I couldn't help but feel like we were a family; Gale, Posy and I.

"And," Gale walked toward me again. His eyes turned grave as he pressed on. "I don't want to get in your way anymore. I wouldn't want to bother you and your new cozy life with him. I don't want to be the third wheel, Katniss. Because

that's what I've been feeling like these past few months." There was a deep sadness in his eyes that made my heart drop. I knew there were more things he had wanted to say at that moment but he also wanted to hear what I had to say.

"Please don't feel like that Gale. You know there's nothing I can do now. I am in love with him. He makes me happy. I don-"

"Save me the lovey-dovey speech Kat. I'm tired of all of that shit. It's not fair. It really isn't." His eyes dark, pleading for me to understand. "Katniss, I loved you first, it's not fair that we thew that all away after..after he came along." His face cringed at the mention of Peeta.

"HEY, don't talk about him like that." He didn't have the _right_ to talk about him like that. I stepped closer. Now we were talking face to face, only inches away from each other.

"It's true, if you weren't picked for the 74th Hunger Games, we'd probably be together." I knew deep down that he was right, but I had made my decision already, there was no changing it. He saw that I was thinking over his words and

he took advantage of the moment and hesitantly put his hands on my hips. I suddenly realized what he was doing and stumbled back. I raised my hands up, signaling him to stop.

"Backoff" I hissed , my hips still burned where he had touched me. I felt my lips quickly twist into a smile.

I liked his touch.

"Katniss, all I'm asking is that you... rethink your options." He spoke slowly, not wanting to alarm me. Now his body radiated with grief, I could feel it from where I was standing. This feature of him struck something in him that I hadn't seen before.

He loved me.

All those days we spent together. He was always right there with me for a reason. He was there for me when my father died. He was there when both our families were on the verge of dying of hunger. He was

there to comfort my sister as I volunteered to be tribute, in her place. And he was there to witness every moment that Peeta and I shared, along with the rest of Panem. He couldn't turn away, everywhere Gale went he was probably flooded by news of

the star-crossed lovers everyday. Reminding him of what could have been.

I was suddenly overwhelmed with guilt and pity for my best friend. I wanted to reach out and pull him into a tight embrace and never let go, but instead I kept my hands in fists, resting at my sides. I thought about how it made his feel seeing me kiss Peeta over and over, realizing I would have been undoubtedly furious with him if the tables were turned.

"I'm sorry, Gale. I - I didn't know. I didn't think about it like ... that." I didn't know what to say to him to make it better, but I knew nothing would.

All of a sudden his expression became unreadable and his eyes cloudy, there was an emotion in them that I didn't recognize which surged through them. His gaze refused to break from mine, I realized this was the way he looked at me as I shot my arrows. He looked at me this way countless times before but I had could not bare looking back at him; afraid of I don't know what.

"Don't be sorry," He whispered faintly. He lifted his hands, and carefully caressed my hair. I did not break his gaze either, it was impossible, he had me under his spell. I really wanted to say something now, give him an idea of what was going on in my head now. I felt like it was the least I could do, in exchange for all he's done for me. I wanted to tell him that I needed him in my life almost much as I needed Peeta. As much as I desperately wanted to tell him, I had no words. I had nowhere to start. Too many topics, and things I've done wrong. I opened my mouth, hoping for the words to just fly out.

His eyes darted across my face, searching. I _had_ to give him answer. Why couldn't I be like Peeta; flawless grammer, and always knew what to say at pressured moments.

The emotion grew stronger on Gale's face.

Then all of a sudden he slid his fingers along my jaw and pulled me into a kiss. His lips were soft, and warm. It's abruptness made me fall back onto a tree. I put my hands on his neck about to shove his weight off of my body until he pulled away momentarily, just to breath. He opened his eyes, and his grey eyes turned hard black, his hands toughened against my head, now ruffling my hair out of it's braid. He leaned back in and this time I kissed him back. I loosened my grip on his neck and intertwined them in his brown hair. His hands were rough from all the hunting, yet they seemed to set my body on fire. They slid under my shirt and traced my back lifting it up. A shot of adrenaline rushed through me. I greedily pulled off his shirt kissed his neck and wrapped my legs around his torso; the hunger blazed stronger within my chest.

What was going on with me?


	2. Chapter 2

I appoligize for not updating this sooner. I feel uninspired. I hope the storline is appealing, and not similar to the rest, but I know where I'm going with it, so bear with me.  
I could really use some criticism and reviews (hint,hint) Anywhoo I hope you like it c:

I do not own the hunger games.

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It was all happening so fast, I just went with it, not knowing what else to do. His grip was now too strong to break away from. But part of me... didn't want to let go. I hadn't really done these kinds of thing with Peeta. To be honest, there were only probably two reasons why I never

got too far with Peeta. One was because I was unsure of my own feelings towards him. Of course I love him, but I think it's a bit too soon. Did he even see me that way? He had told me he loved me ever since we were little, but I just wasn't sure. It was only until the reaping that I

had every _really _noticed him; with the exception of when he gave me the bread when we were younger. The other reason was...well... I wasn't sure. I just really truly felt I didn't deserve him. He was too good. We bonded under the worst circumstances. With Gale, it was a bit

different. I knew him almost all my life, we grew up, and survived together, but he had only just professed his love. All the memories I shared with him flooded in. I was acting on instinct. I bit his lower lip and this caused a strong growl emerge

from deep within in his throat. He began to kiss me harder; with more emotion in each one. He unhinged my legs from around his waist and set me down on the forest floor. I huffed in protest as he took a step back.

Suddenly I heard a voice, it came from within me. I knew it was a part of me talking but it was a side of me I was not familiar with. I wanted him all over me. I wanted to make up for all of this. I wanted to The voice told me to keep going. Gale removed his pants and lie over me,

now only in boxers. He placed his arms at my sides, so his weight was evenly distributed.

My fingers traved along his abs; dancing, as he kissed me passionately. The voice in me willed me forward, urged me to go on. So I folded my arms around his lower back and grinded my hips to his.

"Katniss!" he practically yelled. He sighed heavily and his hot breath whisper over my face. Then he pressed our foreheads together and looked me straight in

the eyes. I could feel my face flush red, as he looked at me, we were all alone.

No one to come and disturb us. No one to hear.

I could feel the sun's rays hitting both of us on the cool forest floor. Then Gale bent his head slightly to press rough kisses along my collarbone.

The voice within me rejoiced.

Then he said in a strong but subdued voice,

"Katniss... I love you so much. I want you, all of you." His words sparked something in me. His hands pulled at the edge of my hunting pants when realized that this would be a terrible mistake. I knew

where this was about to head and I had to put a stop to it. The voice argued with me, it nawed at my hormones but I crushed it with the thought of hurting Peeta.

_Peeta_.

The thought of him made me aggressively shove Gale off me. My eyes filled with tears. I can't believe I let myself to this to Peeta. I ruined our relationship over my selfishness. At that moment I began to replay all of sweet, tender moments Peeta and I shared. His arms wrapped

around me during the first hunger games; the pain I saw in his eyes when he found out most of our relationship was a lie; and the moment I realized I wanted to set things right with him, give back to him for all the sacrifices he had made for me. I don't deserve him. The whole

situation just made that statement even more true. The savarity of the situation crushed me. I felt myself violently shaking. I was so stupid.

"I have to go." I say in a strained voice. I got up quickly and reach out for my shirt in the floor.

Then a pair of white hands seize my wrists in their place. He yanked me to him, and I felt his hardness press against my thigh.

"Don't leave me Katniss.. not now." he whispered so quietly I had almost missed it.

I cringed at his tone. It only made me want to sprint home and the fact that we almost did the unthinkable made me feel worse. His eyes pleaded with me but I now kept my face towards the floor, too ashamed of everything that was going on. He lifted my face up and began kissing

me again, I pulled away rapidly, started bolting through the dense forest. I could feel him catching up with me. My pace quickened, it was almost as fast as my heartbeat. I couldn't say that I hated Gale for all this, but I was utterly betrayed and disappointed. He

was my best friend after all, but this was crossing the line.

What also bothered me was the fact that I let myself continue. I don't know what got over me. I just want to erase this day, act like it never happened.

How would I ever tell Peeta?

What would I say? How would I ever tell him how sorry I was? Something had come over me. It was not my fault.

"Katniss, WAIT." Gale yelled behind me. I only ran faster, but I knew he was only a few steps behind.

I was thinking so much that I didn't see a small tree uprooted on the ground. I clumsily tripped and this gave him enough time to grab a hold of me and bring us close again.

"Please just listen, give me a chan-"

"Let GO!" I wasn't just talking about his grip on my arms. As I yelled I heard a flock of mockingjays take flight from the trees, frightened by the heightened tone of my voice.

I continued to squirm out if his hold as mockingjays screeched in the background. He took a deep breath in and finally said, "I should've known it'd end up like this."

As he said that, large hovercrafts cut through the sky. It had so much force that the trees shook and many branches fell, crashing to out feet. It startled both of us, and we stood there in silence for a

few moments. For the first time in a while, my thoughts were empty. All I did was walk away, he didn't even follow me, I knew he wouldn't try. Gale just stood there staring at the branch, as if it was telling him something.

I didn't know how long I was in the forest, but the sun was beginning to set, and the air had a slight fringe.

As soon as I reached civilization, I stopped running. There was not much commotion, actually it was pretty peaceful. The only thing unsettled was me. I didn't want to go home, knowing Peeta was there probably making dinner for me, anxious to wrap his arms around me, and ask

how my day went. The voice laughed at me.

I hugged my sides and pushed the thought away.

I took a few steps then kicked the dirt at my feet, causing a cloud to form around my ankles. I knew I was stalling, I just did not want to face him. How would he react? Would I even be able to get the words out? I forced myself to keep walking, my anxiety growing with each step.

When I approached my house I laggardly creeped up the wooden steps onto the porch. I peered in through the window only to find Peeta pacing through the kitchen, plates in hand. There were bowls filled with what looked like beef stew, and a few loaves of cheese rolls on the

table. The fireplace was blazing and it looked as though Peeta was humming to himself. I closed my eyes and cautiously turned the door nob.

In that moment I decided to do something I promised myself I would never enact again, ever since the first hunger games was over. It was only temporary plan, and I chose it because my mind was

tangled and dazed. I knew I would regret it later but the voice in my head took over.

It told me to lie.


End file.
